Monday, March 26, 2007

Livin’ in Gangsta’s Paradise

God bless the Western suburbs! There’s nothing better to perk your spirits than your neighbourhood being terrorized by a mentally unstable, drunken, crack addict coming down off his morning hit of Ice. Such was the scenario not 10 minutes ago.

Our usually quiet street where nothing remotely happens was disturbed when the topless tattooed perpetrator was yelling and grumbling at the top of his lungs as he criss-crossed the street damaging vehicles and switching off the power to each house.

With obscenities and incoherent rambling, the psycho continued on his rampage. By the time we noticed our power had been switched off, he had made his way to the next house and my mother and I slowly walked outside to be greeted by the police swerving into our street.

As soon as we’d advised them he had left the street not a minute ago, the Hollywood scene began as more people carefully left their homes wondering what and where this madman had gone.

This brush with a madman gets better, the police helicopter has just flown over twice and sounds like it’s about to come over a third time. I’m expecting this story to be on the news tonight. It just adds to the already glowing views of our suburb which has been noted for its drug dens, drag racing and gangland links. This is Melbourne’s West.

Speaking to a neighbour, it turns out the madman started his rampage earlier this morning along her street. With her vehicle damaged, her boyfriend’s vehicle damaged, the madman apparently went along her (much longer) street damaging cars and tampering with the power. She claims to have called the police at 9am. They didn’t arrive until he started his second campaign (on our street) almost an hour and a half later.

Stay tuned as more updates come. The police helicopter has passed over our areas six times now.
This is exciting stuff!


Michael... said...

It must be so boring living in the Eastern suburbs. God bless the west!

FEMBOTanist said...

West is best for sure.

Personally, I'd rather be terrorised by ice addicted hoons in commodores than rich white women in white four wheel drives on Toorak Road.