Saturday, September 22, 2007

It’s A Chemical Reaction

I have lost my mojo. It’s well and truly gone and it may have left the building for good. Not so good for a young gay man, but it’s the fact of matter. The loss of my mojo is not so much the sex drive element yet rather the ability to find anyone attractive or interesting. I simply don’t find any guy attractive.

Sure, there are the unattainable ones who have perfectly sculpted bodies, golden tans, square jaw lines and killer style that I think are hot, but they may as well have cheesy porn music playing in the background. I’m talking about guys who I would want to get into a relationship with. There is no attraction. And I am worried.

Am I cursed? Am I going through a sexual slump? Or is it purely that I just haven’t found anyone who is considered my equal? I’m not too sure, but I’m leaning to the slump side of things as I scroll through hundreds of singles profiles, I keep thinking the same thing “Eh, whatever…”

Or is it related back to something else? Did my unrequited love episode earlier this year strip me of any love or passion that I could have for anyone else? Am I actually still subconsciously holding onto those feelings and wanting it to come back with an actual result? I would say no as I know that love has well and truly extinguished with a DNR tag attached. But did it really kill my ability to find anyone else attractive? I have to wonder if it did.

So after regular nights of going out with friends to bars and hours checking out singles profiles, the may be blatantly obvious that I cannot even see it. My standards may be high, my expectations may not be realistically set or my understanding of relationships might be completely askew. The answers could be numerous.

Either way, the sex drive doesn’t exist and I need to find a way to get it back and unfortunately, unlike Austin Powers, I don’t have a time machine to send back to rescue it from the clutches of my personal Dr. Evil. Unless you know someone of course who does…

11 comments:

Duncan | Syrup&Tang said...

Rolling through singles profiles probably just makes it all too analytical. Do you need to force the mojo back? Letting the mojo just do its thing and come back when the time is right isn't an option?

euphoric said...

I find when we want something badly enough the mojo vanishes. I have been there before. It's something in my opinion that only returns when you don't think about it. Take a break and take care of you. You have been a blessing to me in my bad times and I know your mojo will return, probably when you least expect it.

Evol Kween said...

I agree with the above Anthony - singledom can become all-consuming and fog out your mojo. However, it's freaking hard to forget about wanting to be with someone, anyone, which makes it doubly hard to believe that when you stop thinking about meeting someone, you'll suddenly meet someone because you're not expecting it. Ummmm, am I making sense here???? I'll go now.

Victor said...

hm well maybe you need to be more expecting. Maybe now your looking for more than a personality then looks.

Miss Zoe said...

I agree with all the above- if you are in a slump you need to spend more time on YOU not focussing on finding someone else. It will happen one day when it is meant to, and so in the meantime you can just have fun and enjoy yourself!!

spacedangel said...

You just need some time. I used to think, "That's it. I'm never going to get over my ex, I'm never going to be able to maintain a steady relationship and I'm going to be single FOREVER". It took me nearly 3 years, having one 'doomed to fizzle' fling or semi-relationship after the other and envying my coupled up friends but I've finally 'settled down' with someone who makes me very happy.

I know it feels like you're never going to find anybody, but you will, when you least expect it. You're just going through a quiet patch at the moment. In the meantime, enjoy single life. Make time for yourself and your friends and do the things that are important to you. A don't ever settle for someone who doesn't deserve you. Good luck :).

D.U.P said...

Well im not sure I can tell you anything that hasnt already been said or anything that I haven't told you to your face.

All I can say is hang in there.

Gabriel said...

you hold out for the right one. never lower your standards. because if you do, before you know it, everyone will be shopping at kmart and you've become a store.

Chris said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
r*yan said...

well, WHEN you find your mojo, can you try and see if you can find mine?

cos i think it's gone a wandering with yours.

hang in there, pet.

AdamMac said...

Hey,

Stumbled across your blog and after reading this post, I feel like I'm going through the exact thing!

So hopefully you find your mojo soon, so that it gives others out there (myself included) hope for the future.

Cheers,

AdamMac