Tuesday, January 09, 2007

I saw the sign. And it opened up my eyes.

I am a poor reader of signs and body language. I came to this realisation quite a while back but nowadays it’s become even more obvious. You could naked right in front of me saying “I want you right now!” and chances are I would think it was for someone else. I am very slow on the uptake. And it’s to my detriment.

Recently at a friend’s birthday I was receiving the attention of someone who wouldn’t usually have given me the time of day. But suddenly I was being questioned, kissed on the cheek and hugged constantly. And I thought, “What’s just happened?”
I couldn’t decide if this person was being friendly because they knew they’d be seeing me more often with our mutual friends or that they had a genuine interest in me. I decided it was the former because they weren’t jamming their tongue down my throat.

But it wasn’t just the tall Greek who jumped at the chance to come for a drive in my car and get to know me... Another acquaintance of my friends, was asking a myriad of questions which I palmed off as just creating conversation and being friendly. It became just too overwhelming. I wasn’t attracted to either of them but you’d have to wonder – why the sudden interest?

On the way home from the third night of bar hopping for my friend’s birthday, I started to realise that this troupe of queers must have talked about me while I was lounging on the beaches of Hawaii. Whether it is for better or for worse, I still can’t decide. I don’t want to be seen as a charity case, which I fear is already the case amongst many of my friends, particularly within this penis posse.

But my inability to read signs and body language has been around for years. The knowing glances between two others while I sit there busily scoffing down my meal or comments with three layers of meaning while I polish off the last of my lemon gelato are just some instances where I was oblivious to what was going on around me.

Ultimately, I am too happy to be ensconced in my own little world of food and obliviousness while all around me, friends end up as couples, dramas unfold, friendships end and people get laid.

So how does one learn to better understand those knowing glances and suggestive undertones? Beats me. But if anyone out there has any suggestions, you know where to find me. Oh, and preferably, come naked saying: “I want you right now... Anthony!”

If only this sign was used to alert us to our everyday traumas


R*Y A N said...

anthony, i have one word to say to you: tongue-lashing!


FletcherBeaver said...

You'll get it eventually, when the right person comes along. But in the mean time, don't be too aloof, as it kind of gets you no where. Relax, nothing is compulsory. Just have fun, that's what I think.

Tyroga said...

I tend to agree that you'll know when it's time. Try NOT trying to figure out if the actions and words of others are signs.

Live without the expectation that what someone does or says has to mean something other than what is obvious.

Or another way of saying nothing (like the last two paragraphs)... don't look too closely at things for fear of missing the bigger picture :P