Recently at a friend’s birthday I was receiving the attention of someone who wouldn’t usually have given me the time of day. But suddenly I was being questioned, kissed on the cheek and hugged constantly. And I thought, “What’s just happened?” I couldn’t decide if this person was being friendly because they knew they’d be seeing me more often with our mutual friends or that they had a genuine interest in me. I decided it was the former because they weren’t jamming their tongue down my throat.
But it wasn’t just the tall Greek who jumped at the chance to come for a drive in my car and get to know me... Another acquaintance of my friends, was asking a myriad of questions which I palmed off as just creating conversation and being friendly. It became just too overwhelming. I wasn’t attracted to either of them but you’d have to wonder – why the sudden interest?
On the way home from the third night of bar hopping for my friend’s birthday, I started to realise that this troupe of queers must have talked about me while I was lounging on the beaches of Hawaii. Whether it is for better or for worse, I still can’t decide. I don’t want to be seen as a charity case, which I fear is already the case amongst many of my friends, particularly within this penis posse.
But my inability to read signs and body language has been around for years. The knowing glances between two others while I sit there busily scoffing down my meal or comments with three layers of meaning while I polish off the last of my lemon gelato are just some instances where I was oblivious to what was going on around me.
Ultimately, I am too happy to be ensconced in my own little world of food and obliviousness while all around me, friends end up as couples, dramas unfold, friendships end and people get laid.
So how does one learn to better understand those knowing glances and suggestive undertones? Beats me. But if anyone out there has any suggestions, you know where to find me. Oh, and preferably, come naked saying: “I want you right now... Anthony!”
If only this sign was used to alert us to our everyday traumas