Information. How Can I Direct Your Call?

In the last few weeks, I have played the role of Directory Assistance for complete strangers who have been game enough to approach me for information. And this new role has thrown me a little, considering I haven’t had experience as a Car Salesman, Travel Agent or Real Estate Agent.

But it seems I have a face people can trust and approach for the information I need.

Scenario One at Officeworks. As I approach my car to make my way to the next errand, a woman in her thirties comes running up all flustered and proceeds to ask me about my car and its features. In less than a minute, here I was – car salesman for prestige sporty vehicles. In my tracky dacks, unshaven and even a bit woofy, here I was showing this random stranger my car and encouraging her to buy one and to even use the dealership I went through. Answering her questions, a whole 20 minutes later, I was running late and had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t in some random Dali-esque type dream. I was amazed I didn’t offer her to take the car for a spin.

Scenario Two at some random bar. I meet a friend of a friend who has just come out who notices my tee which has Canada splashed all over it. Suddenly I became a travel consultant selling the land of the maple leaf and all that it entails. From highlighting the metropolis neighbourhoods of Toronto to romanticising the Parisian feel of Montréal’s Old Town, I was convinced I should have made some sort of commission on the ‘sale’.

Scenario Three in East Keilor. Pulling up to my friend’s house, I was about to head to the front door when a young family in their pimped up Holden Commodore greeted me and asked if I lived in the area. To which they continued to ask about the area and its pros and cons. Suddenly I was Anthony – Real Estate Agent. Havig moved from Sydney, the family were looking for a property to buy or rent in the area and started telling me of their troubles securing a property in Melbourne due to the market’s competitive nature. From properties in East Keilor, I began selling them the idea of moving to Keilor Park, an adjacent suburb, and its merits as well as the booming suburbs of Airport West and Glenroy. For a good ten minutes the young family and I were talking property and all its aspects. I was an expert!

So in light of these situations and the many more I am bound to have in the future, becoming an expert in the many fields/industries I have no clue in, I’ve concluded I should become one of the City of Melbourne Ambassdors you see roaming around Bourke and Swanston Streets purely to wear the bright red parkers with a giant information sign blazoned across the back.

It’s either that or I start answering my phone “Information. How can I direct your call?” to purely confuse the crap out of anyone who calls. Although I’m pretty sure, that they’ll still ask for directions to a restaurant or landmark without realising it…